Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
