She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
