i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
