id be glad to
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
