you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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