look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
