in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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