Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
