so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
