i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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