i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
