dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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