Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
