My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
