Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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