Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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