need another drink. this is the easiest way
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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