don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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