In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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