in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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