i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the condom got lost in my hair
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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