I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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