i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
