i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
