Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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