He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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