Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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