i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
