So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
