Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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