You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
