Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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