why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
