I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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