Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
