I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
