i think my tv is drunk
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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