i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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