How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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