2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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