I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
