dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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