Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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