I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
