my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
