We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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