We need to rekindle our bromance
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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