White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
