He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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