glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
